Is My New Relationship C0 - DEPENDENT

20 "TELLTALE" SIGNS (from a 4th Step Compilation by Larry H)

1. I want to tell my new partner everything right away, and I seek

emotional intimacy at the first meetings.

2. I fall in love before I have any real information about

the other person and what he/she can contribute to my life.

3. When someone I love reaches out to me, I have to be there for

her/him­­nothing is too much effort. I say "yes" when I mean "no".

4. I become preoccupied, even overwhelmed, by a new love.

5. I act sexually with a new love, often too quickly, then

I get scared and run. . .or stay too long and get hurt.

6. I confuse love with pity. I tend to attract people who

want to be rescued; and can't, or won't give to me.

7. I confuse instability with excitement; my relationships

can seem like roller­coasters, high­highs and low­lows.

8. I have a talent for picking emotionally or otherwise

unavailable people. I want the ones I can't have.

9. I may disguise my need for reassurance and approval, but

I'm constantly seeking it from a new partner.

10. Somehow my feelings aren't as good as my partner's feelings;

I will often lie about my feelings to protect my partner's.

11. When something painful is said, I will pretend not to

be hurt; sometimes, I will even smile.

12. My fear of rejection or abandonment, the fear of once again

being alone, blackmails me into obedience.

13. Kind, stable people who are reliable and interested in me,

are nice, but I find them boring, and often expendable.

14. I obsess over things that go wrong, and when they do, I assume

it's my fault and compulsively try to make things right.

15. If my partner claims to love me, but then does to something to

hurt me, I'll defend him/her. She/he didn't mean it!

16. Other people see the relaitonship for what it is, but I don't.

I see something in the other person no one else sees.

17. I put my partner's needs before my own, but I never expect my

partner to anticipate my needs. My needs aren't important.

18. I believe that, if I lose a new love, I will never find another.

19. I consider emotional pain to be an integral part of the loving process.

20. I tolerate the intolerable in the name of love.